Well, well, well....

The news is... that I still don't know when we'll get a new well dug. So we are now in week 9 of Pioneer Zone with the water. I had hoped it would be done before Thanksgiving, but now, I'm just hoping we can start around December 1st to get that done. It is still not certain. We are being blessed so much by Heavenly Father, and by friends and family around us. Without their help, I'd be a basket case for sure.

I miss some simple things.

• Like turning on the faucet and having hot water to do dishes instead of having to boil several pans so there's enough to wash and rinse with. (We've had to make sure it's boiling lately with all the germs - bleh.)
• Like only having to take the baskets of laundry down the steps to wash instead of many miles away.

There are many simple things I miss. I can't even begin to list them all. Some days, I ache because I miss the comfort that comes from the simple things we so often take for granted. (*sigh*) I am forever grateful to those who have given us plastic plates, cups, bowls, and silverware so that we don't have to do dishes very often. Thank you!!!

I've learned many things.

• That so many are willing to help, many I never realized or expected.
• That it's OK to utilize that help, to accept the offered support, even if it's not in your nature to do so. (notice the emphasis!) :)
• That by accepting, you are giving others the benefit of blessings for them as well as yourself, in ways that are not able to be put into words.
• That things are whittled down to the basics - the simple ways of life are paramount. It's about making it through. So much of the frivolous just isn't that important anymore.

Another recent big lesson learned hasn't come from the well/water experience though. It's been from a situation in my life I will not share here. Suffice it to say it has brought tears, heartache, fear, pain...not easy times. But let me just share the lesson with you.

Sometimes in life, we may feel expected to do things, and they are very difficult for us. Whatever those reasons for difficulty aren't important. This is a personal journey for each of us, with no "right or wrong" kind of thing. It's just that some things are very difficult for us personally to do. The lesson learned here is that finding within ourselves a willingness to face the task makes such a difference. The difficulty may still remain. The willingness found does not automatically take away all the fear, or suddenly make things rosy and sunshiny. But it does make a difference. There is added strength to endure the things we face as we find a willingness to face them. The road to finding that willingness isn't always easy. Sometimes, it is simply painful. But when the point is reached that a willingness is found, you can say to yourself, "I want to do that, I want to face that, and ... the difficulty doesn't matter now. It will be ok, even if there is still difficulty there."

I'm reminded of the people of Alma, when they were burdened by their captors, but prayed for help and were then able to endure cheerfully the burdensome tasks they still had to face. The help wasn't to take it all away, but instead, to be able to be strengthened to endure. Their willingness made such a difference.

I need to get some rest now, but thought I would share those things. Enjoy the day and remember to be thankful for all that you have. If you can't think of anything, start writing things down... like "I can wash laundry at home" or "I can take a shower at my own house" or "I dont' have to fill jugs of water across the street just to wash my hands" or "I don't have to use bottled water to brush my teeth." Did that give you any ideas to start with? :)

Beautiful Autumn photos..

Well, I've wanted to get these photos put up for awhile. I took these in October of 2007. There was one day that was beautiful, crisp, and the tree colors were going full force. I had the best day taking pictures. I am not an expert, but thoroughly enjoyed these. Some are my own backyard, some are at a local metro park and some are just by the side of the road somewhere, or in my little town. :)

This year, the opportunity for photos just didn't happen. Weather, sickness, no camera batteries... it just didn't happen. So, this is more for me than anyone else. It just helps me to remember that there are days with blue skies and perfect temps, there are days that are good and wonderful, that I have had those kinds of days... and that I can actually have those moments again at some point in my life.

Here's to the beauty of autumn, the beauty of the Earth, the beauty that is given by God for all of us to enjoy and be thankful for.

"...the days of our lives..."

I was gonna say something about a soap opera, an hourglass, and a catchy theme song, but I won't. ;)

Life has been full. And at the same time, laboriously slow. Hmm. That seems odd to say, but it's true. It's been busy, but the things that I hoped somehow to go quicker, have gone so slowly. It's not like I want things that aren't good for me or my family. I'd really like the well repair to go quicker, but it has seemed to go by so very s-l-o-w-l-y...

Still no water that is drinkable, though we can flush the potty again. Yay! (It's the little things. Really!) With the well stuff, I've pretty much gotten past the panic stage, and the fall-into-tears-at-the-drop-of-a-hat stage. I think I'm in the no-hope-'til-the-new-well-is-in...-whenever-that-may-be stage. I'm just moving along, trying to go with the flow, keeping up with the new routine that has formed.

We have 3 different categories of water jugs. Brand new, never opened, drinking water is premium. "H" water, designated by the "H" written in Sharpie on the side, is hose-water. Filled at our wonderful neighbor's house - bless them so very much for all their help!! "H" water has earned the distinction of being for cleaning hands, heads and human parts. :) (We were trying to think of "H" things... it got kinda crazy!) The final type of water jug is "x" water. These jugs have had our own well water in them and have sediment and silt and an orangy color at times (because we don't have any water softener on, so the iron is really showing through). These jugs are fabulous for flushing the potty. :)

There have been so many blessings during this difficult time in our lives. So many people helping us in so many ways. Washing our laundry, allowing us to shower, helping with things here and there to make sure we are as comfortable as possible in spite of the chaos the water situation brings. How thankful we are, how grateful for all the kindness shown. I know that we have been blessed by Heavenly Father. My kids and I, each in our own ways. I am so grateful.

How long until it's all better? ... beats me. :) Your guess is as good as mine. I'm hoping it's done before Thanksgiving. .... In reality, a better guess would be that the new well will be in and running in about 2-4 more weeks. I'm trying to keep a bit of hope for the 2 weeks, but I also have found it tough to keep hoping as things keep going ... (how do I say this?)... Hmm. I have found it tough to keep hoping as things keep going "not-so-good" with the well. It will work out in the end. I just pray that the loan goes through quickly, and that they find a good, stable water source when they dig the well.

One thing to add. I've noticed in recent weeks that there are good ways and not-so-good ways of trying to share sympathy/empathy with others who may be going through a difficult time. This is simply from the perspective of Sylvia, who is going through something rather big, but still just having to move on, and is tired. So take it for what it's worth.

Might I just say out loud that, if someone says they are having a bit of a tough time, and you know that what they face is difficult for them (or even perhaps if you don't know that!), try not to say something like "it could be worse" or "just think of those people who lost their homes in the tsunami". Though I understand the sentiment intended with that, it can also bring discouragement to an already discouraging situation. Sometimes, all people want is to be heard and validated. Let me repeat that. Sometimes, all people want is to be heard and validated.

Having someone say something like "you are dealing with alot" or even simply "I hear what you are saying", can mean the world to someone who is struggling. And sometimes, by feeling validated in their own feelings, they can then realize and understand in their hearts that, yes, there are others who deal with difficult things too. But for that one moment, that person isn't being told to look elsewhere and forget their own feelings as if those feelings were somehow unimportant. Our feelings are important to each of us, and are worth being heard. Heard and validated. :)

... Thanks for hearing. :) I hope everyone enjoys the fall weather. I am enjoying the beautiful colors, though it goes by too quickly.

Trying times...

There's been a lot happening in a short amount of time. Things that have tested my strength, my faith, my abilities, and I have found that I come up lacking in all these areas. I have tried to just continue to have faith that things will work out. Some things I could share, like the well having a fit and needing repaired ($$$), a window needing replaced ($$$), and others. I have seen blessings and help in these cases and am so grateful for that. Yet some other things, which I do not feel to share, have been even more difficult for me to deal with, overshadowing those moments of realization that blessings do occur.

I guess I will share one thing that happened today. Someone told me that they had been offended by something I'd said a few weeks ago, but they'd already forgiven me. I was stunned. They never said a thing to me about that. What I'd said was not meant with any disrespect, in fact I felt I'd gone out of my way to clarify that. I guess it still happened anyway. Sigh.

I have wondered today... how is it that I could have ever said I'm sorry if this person had chosen to never say anything? As it is, I'm now trying to go back through what happened, wondering if I should have just kept my mouth shut. Really. Honestly. Does it make a difference to say anything to anyone? I'm afraid to say anything now that remotely is about sharing my feelings, even when carefully wording what I say and trying my best to convey things ...

I know. It's the other person's choice to be offended or whatever. While I realize that, I'm more upset that it happened when I'd tried to convey that was not the intent. And then the other person chose not to say anything to me until now. :(

Sigh. It's been a tough week. A tough couple weeks. I'm ready to throw in the proverbial towel and say "I quit!!!" I'm sick of house problems that need taken care of, teenagers who trample on my last nerve so intently, homework that I need to do but don't care about because of all the other stress right now, and several other things not mentioned here that are very personal and difficult.

Who do I look to for help? The Savior. That's all there is right now. I keep looking, praying, crying, and hoping for some relief that lasts more than one day, more than one hour. I just keep breathing, just keep trying to take care of me, the kids, make sure things get done like they should... and then just keep trying to breathe some more. It's what I've got right now. Sorry it isn't glowing or beautiful or sunny or chipper. At least I'm saying something...

...but then I wonder again... why say anything at all? Sigh. I think I'll just read a book for awhile and try to forget. I'm rolling the Dice of Coping and I come up with... "Ignore".

(ps - I know that ignoring isn't a permanent answer. That's why they are called the Dice of Coping, right? ha.)

haven't posted in awhile...

It has been a busy summer. I finished my class to start my bachelor's degree, but need to finish up a few more classes and the associate's will be done. WHEW. The kids were here and there all summer, with only a few weeks where all of us were home together. We didn't get to take any kind of family trip because of the class I took, but I hope to be able to do that next summer. However, I'm not sure what the next 10 months will bring, so a trip may just be another dream on the horizon.


I've wanted to blog several times, but haven't felt up to it. What can I share that will make any difference? When I'm down and want to just cry, does saying anything about it help? When I'm laughing about something that was really funny, does sharing it help? Or am I just taking up space with my thoughts?


Well, I've decided today to take up space. If you don't want to know what I have to say... why have you read this far? And if you are remotely interested, I hope what I write doesn't bore you.


I'm pleased with my home improvement idea for our garage, that turned out so much better than I'd hoped! The kids' bike helmets and basketballs and junk were all over the floor on one side, keeping them (and me!) from walking safely into the garage to get in the van. I had an idea to create my own peg-board type thing and it blossomed from there. Megan was the biggest helper, with Adam also doing some drilling and hammering. The finished product is nice, and is still working today. (You know, some projects seem great at first, then get forgotten. The kids are still good about hanging their helmets and keeping the balls and toys in the basket! Yay!)



I had to work on cleaning the gutters last week. It's a job I've been dreading, but have not been able to ask for help with. Sometimes, asking for help just seems to create more chaos and confusion, so I've not been good about asking others. I was finally able to get a ladder from a neighbor and commenced the dirty job. Because my house sits higher than most (because of the way the basement is built), I had to be even higher than normal on a ladder. NOT my favorite thing.


I enlisted the help of all my children at various points in the project, cleaning out the end of the drain or helping with the hose, and am so grateful for their help. Couldn't have done it without them, that's for sure. Why didn't I just ask my oldest son to do it? Well, if someone was going to fall and get hurt, I'd much rather it be me than him. He's not so keen on ladders that high either. I was shaking each time I went up or down the ladder, but was able to complete the task. I'd used the water hose too, so ended up alot like a drowned rat when it was finished.


Apparently, the use of all that water made the water filters in the house go beserk and fill extra fast, which reduced water pressure enormously. Sigh. That meant there was yet another dirty job to deal with. Bleh. Because the pipes for the plumbing are so close together where the whole house filter and sediment filter are (yes, we have two filters on our water before it ever gets to the softner), I couldn't quite get the bucket where it needed to be under the 2nd filter system. Thus, water got all over the floor, despite my best efforts. :\ So, changing filters is not a talent I possess. But, it's done. I am wondering what will need fixed next... Hmm. I hope it waits awhile.


School has started for the kids and they have been doing well so far. I'm grateful for that. I start next week, but am only taking 3 classes. That may sound like alot, but it will feel easy, I'm sure, compared to what I've had the past few quarters. I should be more motivated to find an intership, but I'm not right now. It will work out in time.

I've been trying to take walks more frequently. The weather turned cooler again and that helps. It's nice to go outside and hear the birds, feel the breeze, see the green trees and grass, be bothered by the bugs... oh wait. I'm not keen on the bug part, but everything else is great! :)





That's enough for now. I have thoughts I might share later... or I may go take a nap. :)